....It's The Lil' Things That Make Life Sweet....

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

I can't wait for this to be over.

Some months ago, I told myself that I know that this bout of depression will end and that I'll have to patiently wait for that day to come. I knew that things will get better and I will not be stuck in this rut forever. I knew that I would be once again free from this and have my mind be calm once again.

But it's been too long and I have been falling in and out of it so often that I'm on the verge of giving up. I know that there are potentially exciting things lined up for me soon but I'm afraid I can't get myself there. The occasional distractions aren't enough to make up for the large numbers of empty lonely days that I had to endure. I never thought that I would be one to succumb to loneliness but I am beginning to think it has taken a toll on me.

And what is frustrating me even more is the fact that I have no idea when I'll be able to move to my new apartment. I'm royally pissed off because everything is being handled so slowly and I have to keep chasing and pushing for things to be done. Work starts next week and I'm not even settled at my new place yet. This also brings the level of suck-dom in life up a few notches.

With everything I'm feeling right now, I feel like shedding everything in my life and start all over. I want a fresh start and to be able to do things right this time - taking on new opportunities, be more proactive, meet more people, have more fun and not over-think and overanalyse every single thing I'm about to do. I'm always so cautious with my choices. For once, I feel like doing anything that feels right.

I feel so hollow inside, like whatever spirit I have is fizzling out. I want so desperately to feel alive again. I just hope that while I'm on this path, I don't self-destruct by making stupid choices.

But I guess screwing up is part and parcel of life right? Perhaps this is my turn. People only get wiser learning from dumb decisions.

melia signed out with love @ 9:28 PM (0) earthling(s) farted

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..What About Amelia?..

Because this blog needs an introduction
Here goes!

I'm 40% mature, 30% child-like
10% fashionista, 8% dork
6% klutzy, 3% dreamer
2% blur, 1% hero x)

I also want to marry John Mayer
And oh, I want a pet unicorn too x)

More self-absorbed information here!!

..Mood-o-meter..