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Friday, July 28, 2006 Never drink Neslo Ais at 2 in the morning... x(Because it keeps you awake at 5am in the morning with the urge to blog about what a fantastic nite you had...and also the urge to puke your guts out for some reason. I was lying in bed a few minutes ago trying to sleep. I thought with the alcohol I consumed today that made me tipsier than I've ever been before, I would have knocked out right away and slept like a baby. The Neslo is acting up and I'm burping non-stop. X( Heck it, why not blog? Today was a very special and rare occasion for me. This was something I looked forward to ever since last week. And yeay it happened! A reunion of old friends. Friends I've known from my kindergarten, primary and secondary years. Very rare indeed. *smiles* We went for dinner at La Casa and after that headed to Laundry for drinks. It was great just chatting and laughing and talking about old times. Gossiping and bitching about a certain toad of a teacher. Really brought back alot of memories and I could almost smell (serious shit) the scent of those days in secondary school. I don't know about you, but I associate alot of memories with scent. Heh. I remember the sweet musky smell of morning dew everytime I reach the front entrance of school. As much as I dreaded attending class at such ungodly hours, I always did appreciate being greeted by this distinct scent. XD Yeah, I could almost smell it today. Okay that sounded so wrong...whatever lar. So yeah. Chenn, Chris, Edmund, Sujen, Albert, Oliver, Khivn, Andrew, Kailash, Joshua, Mark (even if it was for a LIL' while) and Lingwei, thank you so much for a fantastic nite out. XD Me is so grateful to be able to keep in touch after all these years. PICTURES!! ![]() The Creme Brule Chenn and I ordered. Lovely! XD Chris ordered a Choc Cappucino Pie which was splendid. He's gonna make it his wedding dessert. XD ![]() Chenn's Sex On the Beach, Edmund's hairy arm and my fair arm holding my Long Island. XD ![]() Chenn gets really red when she drinks alcohol. Look at the tone of her neck! And she talks alot when she's tipsy. A joy to watch. XD ![]() Christopher's got semi-blond hair and tattoos. Came back from Canada with a Nothern Indian accent. -_-''' Why la? ![]() Edmund's back from Ukraine. This dood here has got the most beautiful eyelashes any girl would want. So long and curly. *jeles jeles jeles* ![]() Sujen, my kindy mate now sports a weird curly hair-do. Oh he's a proud survivor of that earthquake in Yogjakarta. ![]() Kailash. My kindy mate too, now all stylo mylo. XD ![]() Andrew the German dood who can't speak a word of German. Tsk. A very good friend. Future lawyer in the making. ![]() Chenn and Edmund. ![]() Chris on the phone with his beautiful gf and I. Horrible right? On the phone still can take pictures. Ish. ![]() The red girl and I. XD ![]() Josh and Chris. Best friends since Form 1. XD ![]() Khivn, Albert, Chenn and Melia. ![]() Chenn, Edmund, Andrew and Sujen. ![]() Old pals. XD ![]() Joshua, Chris, Oliver, Sujen, Andrew, Edmund and a very red Chenn. ![]() Kepong people are very nice and friendly. Ahaks! ![]() Foreigners ciplak. ![]() The Kepong Boys. ![]() Edmund and Sujen. ![]() Chenn and Andrew. ![]() Andrew and I. ![]() Mark and Chenn. He came for like 5 mins, took pictures with us and off he went. -_- It was nevertheless nice to see him after 3 years. ![]() Don't mind his expression. He was afraid of my camera's flash. It was pretty blinding. XD ![]() Kailash and Oliver. ![]() Joshua, Chenn and I. ![]() This is Alberto, an exchange student from Italy. Apparently Lingwei's boyfriend is hosting him and in this pic he just arrived from Penang a few hours ago. ![]() Me and Chenn were being nice and tried to strike a conversation with him because he looked so lost sitting over the other side. The boys snickers and thought otherwise. Anyway he said I look Italian! Wahahahahahahahaahahah! Do you think I look Italian? BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ![]() At Laundry. Edmund, Sujen, Kailash and part of Oliver. Spot KinkyBlueFairy a.k.a Joyce! ![]() Lingwei and Andrew. ![]() Chenn and Lingwei. ![]() I knew Lingwei since Standard 1. I've seen her in super short hair and we fought over Doraemon books before. Heh. It's great seeing her again, all pretty and grown up. ![]() Friends since primary school. Lingwei, Chenn and I. ![]() At a mamak. I think Chris was telling a joke. XD ![]() Twas' a great nite. A snapshot of the old Kepong gang with one real foreigner kacau-ing. It would be rude to ask him to get out of the way since he just landed in KL. Heh. Disclaimer: The post below is super long, has some emo elements, and is a dead honest reflection of the writer's feelings. It is intended for no one but MYSELF. Read with an open mind or don't read at all. Tonight was special for another reason. I feel free. Liberated from the effects of my pretty traumatising childhood. Not many know of this. Those who do are the ones I have confided in, but I'm sure some held witness to the events that happened during that period of time but did not know the impact it had for the 9 years of my life. This is going to be an extremely honest post. I hope no one gets offended by this. I'm writing this for me. When I was at the age of 11, I made an enemy. When I say enemy then, it was a very juvenile perspective of one. Afterall how can a 11 year old truly understand the real meaning of the word enemy? I would say that I wasn't too fond of him then, I thought I hated him but at that age I didn't really have the ability to hate YET. How this whole fiasco happened, I don't quite remember. At least no longer in detail. I was a fat kid. Fat kids are generally nice because it's the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves. I guess as a kid I've always been good natured, but because I became pudgy, I was the nice fat kid. Fat kids get teased alot. Now when you're a female fat kid, it hits you bad. I'm vain now because I was vain then. I cared alot about how I looked even then. I remembered one day a friend told me that this classmate of mine was directing alot of fat jokes at me. He told me what was said and laughed at my face. I had no choice but to laugh with him because if I didn't I would have burst into tears. That was when it all started. I was angry and I thought that classmate was a jerk, and together with my best friends, I gave him a nickname, Mr.BH. I guess news got around pretty quickly and he soon found out about it, and that was when we childishly declared 'world war 3'. It was even officiated by passing notes. Ahah! That's when my nightmare began. What started off as a childish 'game', turned really ugly for me. More fat jokes hurled at my direction, rumours about me being spread, classmates huddling up in a group laughing and later sending a 'messenger' to tell me that he called me a fatty bom bom. I went home crying almost everyday. I prayed every night for God to make me thin and pretty. I hated myself because I thought I was fat and ugly. You see, the thing about kids is that they're very honest. So alot of my friends who are friends of his as well (we're classmates ma) would come and tell me things he said about me and expect me to laugh at myself and be cool with it. So I did. This went on for 2 years. In the second year, horrors of all horrors - my best friends were suddenly buddies with him. How that happened I did not know. I guess if I knew then I would call it betrayal, but I was very simple minded then and beggars can't choose, so I let it be. The irony is that they would always hang out with him and I'm always with them because they're my best friends. I've always felt like an outsider. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just go home. Instead I followed them to his friend's house to play playstation games. (damn pandan muka right?)I still can remember how I dreaded those times. How I wish they would stop hanging out with him. When I realise that didn't work, I started wishing that he would like me too. I sometimes wonder why did he hate me so much? Was it because I'm fat? There's another fat girl in class too, why didn't he tease her and spare me? Why was I 'The Blob'?! My friends have observed and asked me, why do I always walk with my head down? Because I don't want to see people laughing at me. I couldn't handle it. Why is it that I always look at the blackboard when I enter a class? Because I wish to go unnoticed. I hate walking around in class because I'm extremely self-concious. I hate being in front of class to do a math question because I'm afraid someone might tease me because I'm fat. I hated being the centre of attention. More like I hated attention, however slight it may be. It's so weird that at the age of 11, I had to yearn for acceptance from the only guy who hated me and made my life a living hell. Reading back through my diary (yes, I did keep one, haha) almost all my entries were about him. Why did he hate me? Why can't he be my friend too? Why am I ugly? Why am I fat? Why are people so mean? This lasted until I graduated from primary school. I remember he got 5a's for UPSR. I remembered we're in the canteen saying our goodbyes and congratulating each other. I remember wanting to congratulate him as well, but he was hostile so I didn't. Secondary school was a new beginning for me. He and I were no longer in the same class and I had nothing to do with him. I avoided it at all cost. I lost a little bit of weight and got complimented for the first time ever in my 13 years of life by a classmate. That was when I started regaining my self-esteem. I hated myself less. I learnt to be comfortable in my own skin and accepted my body the way it is but still that 2 years had it's effect on me. Habits. Habits I couldn't change. Sometimes when I walk past a group of people laughing, I get really paranoid because I think they're laughing at me. I still hate walking in front of alot of people. I still look at my shoes when I walk. And I'm still intimidated by him. It is until today when I finally realise that I no longer should be. The past is the past. Those were the acts of a child. I no longer feel small and judged in his presense. Conversations were held, even bits of the past were mentioned, but none mattered no more. He's a friend now. :) FINALLY! Ahhhh....story of my life.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006 My first week of the 2nd semester is almost done. Two more tutorials tomorrow and I would have officially completed my first week of Sem 2. Not that it's a great feat or anything important lar. Just felt like stating it though.Today I had Business Law lecture and tutorial, followed by a Macroecons lecture that I skipped during the 5 minutes toilet break. Now before you start wagging your finger at me together with that accusing look, I have a very good explaination for that which I will elaborate on later on below. Yes Business Law. I've heard so many horror stories about this supposedly evil vile subject. The subject which has the highest failing rate (almost 30%-40%) and has an open book structured exam, which only means one thing. Damn eff-ing hard. So today I went to lecture mentally prepared to be bored out of my wits but surprise surprise, I was no where near bored (well not until the 2nd hour lar). Infact this is the first time I paid full attention during lecture (any lecture for that matter). Not because I wanted to, but because I was actually intrigued. XD My lecturer is a pretty good speaker. My tutor looks good. She has her own law firm. *Wahhhhh* Wow. That is something. Heh. For that slightest moment I actually contemplated about studying law. I love the system. I love how power is controlled. I love how it's applied. I love how it makes you think. Wow. Not bad eh for an ex-science geek? XD But let's see in the long run now. This is afterall the first lecture. Macroecons. Actually I don't have much to say cos we entered late and sat at the highest tier in the lecture theatre. Smart ass lecturer didn't use a mike so I had no idea what he was yammering about. So I played solitaire on Kenny's pda instead. After one hour we're given a 5 minute toilet break and I thought what the heck, it's not like I'm listening, might as well go home to get some much needed shut eye. So I did. Yeay! Overall the lecturers look pretty good. At least this time I dare say I understand their spoken English unlike last sem where both my Microecons and Stats lecturer had their tongues in knots. Alrighty, time to get that much needed shut eye. Adios!
Saturday, July 15, 2006 Finally the long awaited trip to Bukit Tinggi has arrived. After 3 misses it's about time to actually go there. So went there we did! Kenny was really enthuasiastic and wanted to leave at 8am. -_-''' In the end we left at 12pm cos both of us couldn't wake up. Ahahaha!Kenny and I made sandwiches for each other. So cute right? In the end we couldn't finish them and were left with ALOT of sandwiches. Sandwiches anyone? It was a really pleasant trip. The weather wasn't fantastic eventhough we're supposedly 1500 feet above sea level. Poor Kenny was still sweating like he always does. So no need for an extra layers if you're visiting there. XD Colmar Tropicale is indeed pretty. It's themed after a French Village and it's very believable. Very nice la. The cottage like buildings and all. A lovely place to take pictures and hoboy did we take loads of em'. XD Kenny wanted to get lemang on the way there and we missed the stop so I told him it's okay we'll get some on the way back home. We missed the stop on the way back home too. XD Sorry baby. Let's go get some one day anyway. Heh. Alrighty. Lotsa pictures to post. Don't wanna waste time blabbering. Let the pictures do the talking. XD Of course every picture blog shall begin the the lovely face of yours truly..... ![]() Wahahahahahahhahhaha! Yes I damn perasan but it makes me happy. XD ![]() Camwhoring is a must in every long road trips. The boyfriend joins in. After circling the darn hill for like a gazillion times (it was a really windy way up btw), Behold Colmar Tropicale! ![]() Nice leh. It looks like such a happy place. Of course this was taken when there wasn't much of a crowd so it looks kinda dead. But I assure you it looks happy. XD ![]() My tee says 100% Organic Cotton. Hee! ![]() Kenny loving the view, not loving the heat. ![]() Me and my boo who's eyelid got stung by a bee a few days ago. Guess what, Colmar has resident swans!! Four resident swans to be exact. And they're kinda stuck up too cos they don't really care if you're there. Hmph! ![]() It's not a duck okay. It's a black swan. This is Abigail. ![]() Don't be fooled this ain't Abigail. It's Alicia, Abigail's twin. ![]() Kenny with Abigail and Alicia. ![]() Me with Abigail OR Alicia. Take your pick. ![]() See the white swan. It's pretty anti-social. It just sits there all day and shed feathers. Ptui! ![]() I really like this picture of him. XD *hugs* ![]() And I really like this picture of us. After Colmar we went to the Japanese Village. The road leading there was seriously steep. And Kenny wanted for us to walk up. Gila sial. Over my dead body. So he drove. XD ![]() 3500 Feet above sea level it reads. So tell me why am I freaking sweating? ![]() The botanical garden. I pancit-ed halfway thru the trail and whined to go back. There were too many steps I tell you. X( ![]() The lush green. Green is a happy colour. ![]() The entrance to the Japanese Tea Garden. ![]() One of the rest houses. There was this kimono renting service in one of the tea houses so rent a kimono I did. XD ![]() The lady fixing me up. ![]() All done. The lady taught me how to pose and sit with the kimono. I nearly stumbled and I sure did fumble. Boy it's not easy sitting down and getting up in these. They really restrict movement. ![]() Kenny and Amelia in a teahouse. XD ![]() Me trying to look like a sumo wrestler. Damn tak jadi of course. Ahahah! ![]() I really like the big ass ribbon. So neat. ![]() Heh. No comment. XD ![]() Him and his cute lil ride. After all that we went back to Colmar and entered a shop that sells plaster of paris. They come in all shape and sizes and they even provide in house painting. ![]() The place. The plaster. The painting table. ![]() I bought one for me and Kenny to paint. Kenny isn't really much of an artist I must say. The snail he painted looked like a clump of brown poop. Ahah! Leave the art to me darling. But we had fun didn't we? ![]() The finished product. We painted this all by ourselves! I feel a sense of pride. XD After the painting session we headed for the Ship for a nice dinner and then went back home. What a day! I'm a happy child! XD Thanks Bee for today. I love you. *hugs*
Thursday, July 13, 2006 Results are out.HOOOOOOBOYYYYYY.... Everyone's freaking out. I was too. My results are alright. Nothing great and none too shabby. Average score of 66.25. A strong credit average. Still I'm not realy satisfied. Not when I know I was this close to getting 3 distinctions instead of just one. Oh well. That's how it's gonna be. Accept and move on. My dad ain't really please. I get him. I totally do. I expected better from myself too. I need to be above average. I want so badly to go to Australia and my only chance of that happening is to show my dad that I'm worth investing in. I'm not as privileged as the other kids. I know that. Their parents insist they study abroad, mine want me to stay put. And the funny thing is both my parents have studied abroad. My mom's pretty cool about it but my dad's convinced I'll prolly not make it thru a day there. So doing well is my one and only option. I hate to think of myself as an average student. I'm not trying to sound cocky but I have always been above average. Just that in the midst of A-Levels she sorta dissapeared. I need her back. Gimme back my smartness! Please? Heh. Yes hate me. I know I sound cocky. But I'm nice. ![]() Is this the face of an average student? I hope not. *prays*
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 I just came back from supper. Supa supa full now. Ugh. But pork mee in Petaling Street rocks!Monday was spent with the Monash gang in Redbox. It was mad really. Sleeping at 7am right after the match and waking up at 11am just for a karaoke session. My gosh. If I had it my way I'd screw karaoke and clock in more sleep but alas I knew Kenny went thru alot of trouble to plan this get together for me and I didn't want (okay actually I wanted too but Kenny didn't lemme) ffk. So yeah, The Curve it was at 12pm. But then I only reached at 1 something cos I had a car mishap. Couldn't get the steering lock to unlock. Bargh! *sweat sweat sweat* Finally did and met them at Redbox, room 45. Called May and was greeted by her sleepy voice. Ahahahah. Smart girl. Fery was there too. Was really great to see him again. Too bad we couldn't make it to Penang to visit him. Hopefully in August we can. So yeah. Redbox! I finally witness Andrew singing. Gosh that boy lied! He so can sing. Nice voice even. XD Ian was well...Ian. But he made me laugh like a mad cow. He's now officially a SHIM. Wahahahah. Anyway here are the pictures from Monday's singing session. ![]() My baby and me. We both wore red on the same day! And it wasn't even planned! Wheee! Let's colour co-ordinate more often. I don't care if it's cheesy. XD ![]() The Monash Gang. Kenny, Mun Mun, Andrew and Ian. ![]() Huddle and cuddle! ![]() Caught in the act. *sing sing sing sing sing* ![]() I miss Fery's intense emo singing face! Ahahahah damn funny! ![]() Ian's pretty intense too when he sings. With all the hand gestures. XD ![]() Kenny can sing too and does a really good Louie Armstrong impersonation. I never knew he could do it! XD ![]() Fery, Kenny, Mun, Andrew and Ian. ![]() The boys. ![]() Mun singing and me smiling... ![]() Mun Mun sings really well and she's a ballroom dancer too. Woot! When the rest were singing, me and Kenny decided to take some happy pictures together and look how they turned out. ![]() This wasn't planned. It just came out like this. Looks DAMN wrong man. Ahahahah! ![]() I don't usually post ugly pictures of me up but this one I couldn't resist. We're singing. Heh. Freaking hell...my nostrils damn big. XP Suddenly Andrew volunteered to imitate a certain cute yellow feathered friend and I took a picture. ![]() BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! I don't care what you think, I think it's spot on. In the end May came over to The Curve to see Fery. We hung out in Starbucks and chatted like old times. Well not exactly cos as far as I remember during the old times I needn't worry bout dying from second hand smoke. XP But it was fun. ![]() Classmates. May and Fery. Result of the entire day = A very tired but happy wappy Amelia. ![]() I don't usually pose like this and yes I need a haircut. Who needs an eyepatch eh?
Monday, July 10, 2006 Viva La France!!Italy may have won but France played really well. They should have won and deserved the victory as much (if not more) than the Italians but heck the ball is round so I guess it's anybody's game. Zidane was really stupid to have done what he did. Maybe that Italian dood provoked him by calling him a baldie or calling his mama fat but still he could have headbutt him after they've won the match. It was rash and uncalled for. Especially for a player of his standard and experience. Why lah did you do that Zidane? What are you gonna tell your grandchildren? This is so not the way to exit the international football arena. Shame shame lah. Sigh..I really wanted France to win. I mean Zizou did deserve to lift that cup one more time and what a sight it will be to watch him. He played so well. Alas, it was not meant to be. So ladies and gentleman, please, don't do a Zidane. I watched the match today in Souled Out, Hartamas. It was friggin packed but I had fun. Thank you so much May for bringing me out even if you had to drive all the way to Kepong to pick me up. Summore have to send me back home at 6 am. I feel so loved. Ahahah. Thank you babe. I really appreciate it. *hugs* Yes lah yes lah...the Italians won. Sheesh. Get over it. You're Malaysian for pete's sake. -___-
Friday, July 07, 2006 I just came back from May's place. Yesterday she ajaked me for drinks at Rush. I was quite hesistant for awhile cos it was Rush and I didn't like Rush and why always Rush!??! But I was in the mood for drinks so heck...follow lar. Drove over to her place. Then she drove to her friend's house to pick up 3 more friends. Then they decided to go to Bangsar instead. The lil sakai me inside was throwing confetti around and jumping about in joy. You see I never went clubbing in Bangsar before.Let's be straight here. I'm not your average happening teenager. Wait. I'm no longer a teenager. HAH. Well my point is I have very protective parents and I'm a very honest child so I don't lie. More like maybe my parents did some voodoo on me so I CAN'T lie. So I tell them everything. Where I'm going and all. So I'm like your average nerdy good kid. Never seen the wild side of town, never done a bad thing in my life. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a lil. But the point is....in today's society.... .........I'm an Angel.......... ![]() With nasty eyebags...angels tire out too and don't look devine all the time y'know.. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. And after yesterday, I'm pretty sure I still am one. Ahaha. True, who wouldn't be seduced by the glitz and glam of the clubbing world. I admit I am. I love to party. Who doesn't? But it's not really my scene. Oyeah lemme get back to my initial story (I just realised I left it hanging in mid air). So yeah, went to Castle in Bangsar that was pathetic. Barely anyone in there. Ahahah. Geez. So much for clubbin in Bangsar. Anyway all is good cos I had Long Island Tea and alcohol makes me happy. So we decided to head back to Rush cos May was lazy to drive to KL. -_____-''' Damn sad man. I seriously have no idea why people like to go there. The music selection sucked. I don't know how to dance to techno lar. Same beat over and over again. So blardy sien. And throughout the whole night they only played 3 RnB tunes. So most of the time I was just moving a lil watching in amazement how some of the girls there can repeat the same moves over and over again to the same blardy beat without getting bored. The only thing nice about the entire night was the Margarita I had. Wahahahah. And May got to de-stress. XD Yeah. I miss my besties lar. Just lazing with them in Starbucks talking crap is way better than any night out in the clubs. I guess this is my scene. This is my sort of 'happening'. Wahahah. And this is where I'm comfortable and can truly be myself. Can't wait for Sing Yieng to come back so 4 of us can dance like monkeys. In her house. Or my house. Or maybe...just maybe...in a club. Aiyoh cannot la. I'm not making sense. Maybe I do. Hmmm...I wanna go nap. I wanna watch Superman.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006 The English lost. Sigh. I guess I did expect it to happen. No actually I didn't. I was praying and hoping that they'll unleash their final magic/weapon/tactics and show the rest of the world that they deserved to be in the quaterfinals. Alas it was not meant to be. Tears were shed, wails of despair, oh well...year 2010 then.Today the French are gonna kick some Portugese arses. Yes. That's how it's gonna be. Thank you for showing those cocky Brazillians the exit. I'm really looking forward to a French victory again. Go Les Bleus! I came back from Penang yesterday. Another family vacation. Didn't seem like one to me though. I'm so tired now. I'm feeling 'jet lagged'. Heh. Car lagged to be exact. I can feel my body going wonky. I'm kinda glad the WC is coming to an end. I need to get my sleeping patterns right. My timetable for Sem 2 is really rubbish. Sigh. How am I supposed to carpool now? I'm feeling so lethargic lately. I feel like there's this other side of me yearning to come out yet I'm too tired to explore that side. So weird lar. Ish. I'm feeling awfully lousy right this very instant. Bahhhhh!
Saturday, July 01, 2006 I would think that at the ripe old age of 20 I'd have a very mature mind. It's something I'm proud of. Something I know deep down in my heart, something I truly believe in. Actually not just from the age of 20, ever since I started high school, ever since I had the chance to redeem myself as an equal to all, I've always thought that I'm way more mature than the people around me. Of course if you don't really know me well you would think that I'm one really childish person. Well this is where I'll correct you. I'm childlike. But it doesn't mean that I'm not mature in thought. So yes. I've always believe I was that person. I'm rational, I'm tactful and I think before I speak taking into consideration of the feelings of others. I've always thought it was the Picsean side of me y'know.But lately, I feel my thoughts becoming more uncontrolled and unreasonable. I'm no longer rational and I'm so easily driven by my emotions. A lil bit can drive my mood downhill. Sometimes I even scare myself with my thoughts (right after I gain back my rationalism, if there is such a word). The question I'm asking myself almost everyday now is why? What happened? I thought people become wiser and somewhat calmer and less rash when they get older. And now I truly believe that the 16 year old me would have frowned at the 20 year old me and offered the 20 year old me a long long lecture about life, sacrifices, faith and compromise. I guess I do know why. There are factors in my life right now that I didn't have then. Well I do applaud 16 year old me for being wise enough to steer away from such trouble. If only 20 year old me didn't fall into that trap. Sighh... I'm an emotional roller coaster. Who needs Genting? Hmph. Why lar is this happening to me? I'm seriously too old for this man. Freaking hell I'm 21 next year. Aiyohhh...how now?
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