....It's The Lil' Things That Make Life Sweet....

Saturday, February 26, 2005

I did nothing today. Really. All I did was just lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I spent the entire day doing that. I thought about alot today and the more I think about it the happier I get. I feel so blessed.

Things have been going on real smooth lately. Seems like everything's going my way. I'm still very overwhelmed. By the amount of people who truly love and care about me. You people rock my world. Serious. You made things so easy. You helped me. Thank You.

No one can fake sincerity. That is why I've been so happy for the past few days. I've been surrounded by people who were sincerely happy for me. The look on their faces, their smile, wow.....I must be really really blessed. God must really love me. Thank You.

To a very special beam of 'sunshine', thank you for being there and thank you for being so supportive. Words just can describe how I feel to see you so happy and supportive. Iyer....I wanna hug you larrrr!!! Thanks baby gurl. Really. Thank You.

I have an addition to my life. Wheeeee!!! Let's see how things go. :)

I'm happy. Thank you everyone. I love you.

melia signed out with love @ 8:53 PM (1) earthling(s) farted

Sunday, February 20, 2005

I dreamt just now while having a nap. It felt so real. I could feel all the emotions. They were soooo real. It was the worst nightmare I've ever had. Everything that I didn't want to happen happened. I could feel the pain and the heartbreak. It made me cry.

May I never have nightmares ever again.

melia signed out with love @ 7:10 PM (1) earthling(s) farted

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Okay...yesterday I found out that Pumpy ain't food. It's not edible. So no pumpkin soup for me. Sigh. I was so enthusiastic. I really thought it would make a cute meal. I got scolded by a few of my friends for thinking that it was edible. Made me feel so silly. Apparently it's one of those symbolic things in the Chinese praying rituals. So no can eat. Sigh. No can cook too. :( I don't understand why. It's STILL a pumpkin. I guess it's not ripe yet since it's so mini. Sigh.

But I don't care. Pumpy is the cutest pumpkin I've ever seen in my entire life. I love everything about it. The way it fits perfectly on my palm. The sound it gives when I pat it's smooth, hard skin. The way it just looks back at me when it sits on my desk. I think I just fell in love with a pumpkin. Ahahahahahha. It's the cutest thing ever! Here meet Pumpy the Pumpkin!

So today I had this brilliant idea. I thought that it would be a waste to not make use of Pumpy. Afterall I spent a good RM5.88 on it. Poor pumpkin was practically screaming 'Do something toe! Use me! Do something! Anything!'. So I did. I carved it. Yeaps! I made a lantern out of Pumpy. It's sooooo cute and soooo cool! It's beautiful in the dark.

It's really easy to do. Just tedious. Lotsa concentration involved. But I'm really happy with the finished product. I'm thinking that it'll make a great gift too. :) Yay! I'm so proud of myself!

This is how Pumpy looks like in the dark. Lovely ain't it? :D

:D

melia signed out with love @ 10:44 PM (3) earthling(s) farted

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Peopleeeee!!! Guess what I bought??! Ahahahaha!! This is so cool and refreshing!!! No it's not a top. And neither is it a skirt. Nope not ice cream either. And nope not a new handphone too.

It's a..................Pumpkin!!!!!

Yeah you heard me right! A pumpkin! Yesh! As in the Jack O'Lantern one! Ahahahahha! It's so darn cute!! I'm gonna make pumpkin soup! Wheeee!!! Just gotta figure out how. Wish me luck!

Darn I bought a pumpkin!!! Woohooo!! And it's not even halloween!!

melia signed out with love @ 9:13 PM (1) earthling(s) farted

V-day was darn happening. Almost everything happened. Ahahahah. Our candlelight dinner rocked! It was sooooo good! Really darn good. And we did everything ourselves. From grocery shopping to setting up the table. It looked darn classy. It was as though we went to a posh restaurant. The food was great, the atmosphere was super and the company was lovely. Good food, good wine, soothing music...ahhh what more can we ask for. There were many funny moments too. Like the time PY's had to re-cook her chicken 'cause it was still raw on the inside and the time SY pulled out this whole bag of ice, dug out ice with her bare hands and plonked them into our glasses. How romantic. Oh not to forget the candle melting and nearly collapsing and I had to chop half of it off with a kitchen knife. It was a laugh.

After dinner, we sat and chat while sipping wine. Then we got up and did a group dance to a slow song. I got all emotional then. I just felt a burst of happiness and gratitude to have them. How lucky I am to be blessed with such great friends. People I know I can count on no matter what happens. People I know that made such a difference that losing any of them would be such a great loss. People that will always have a very special place in my heart. I made my decision then. That I'll never lose them. Any one of them. If I have to I'd fight till the end.

Sorted out lotsa things that night itself. They helped me actually. Thanks babes. I'm sorry for being so difficult. I really didn't mean to spoil the entire night. I guess it's better to open up than to keep things inside. At least now I know. At least now I'm much happier and I'm no longer hiding anything. Thanks so so much for everything.

I finally realised what I want. Simplicity. And guess what? I am happier now that everything is sorted out. I'm smiling more and I'm no longer frustrated with confusing thoughts. Today proved it. I felt so comfortable. It's great to finally feel right no matter who I'm with or where I am. How I miss that feeling. I'm loving this so so much. I don't think that much anymore and I'm no longer frustrated or sad. I'm just leading life the simple way. The happy way. :) Finally!

There's really no point in filling our heads with confusions and doubts. The more we think the more complicated it becomes. And when things get complicated, the more negative we are about life. We shed tears, we feel let down and sometimes we don't even have the will to move on and see the sun shining the next day. We start to fail to see the good things in life. All we can think about is the negative side of life. Depression and sadness can consume us. It can destroy us and wipe out everything we've ever achieved in life. It's a waste to let that happen. So the best way is to NOT think about things that are out of our control. Things that we can't fix. Why cloud our thoughts with it when we know can't do anything. Why not occupy ourselves with things that we can do? Make a difference instead of moping about with the same ugly thought. Keep expectations low and when good things come our way, we get to feel like we're at the top of the world. We'd be more appreciative. Like a beggar stumbling on a RM100 note.

I'm gonna be that beggar. A few coins a day would make my day. Gimme a 100 bucks and I'll be beaming with happiness. Life should be like this. The main purpose for us humans to live is to die happy. Many question the reason for living when all you do is end up dying. Well there is a reason. And that reason is to live happy, experiencing happiness and love. God gave us the chance to live so that we can make use of it and experience one of life's greatest pleasure. Happiness, contentment and love. It's a once in a lifetime gift and it's a sin to waste it.

Clouds of darkness may enter our minds once in awhile but as long we're determine to see the sun again, everything will be alright. Happiness is up to us.

I'm darn happy today. My clouds have cleared and my sun is shining again. Hip hip Hooray!!!!

melia signed out with love @ 6:29 PM (0) earthling(s) farted

Sunday, February 13, 2005

I'm confused. Decisions, decisions and more decisions. They don't stop coming. Why can't we live in ignorance? Afterall ignorance is indeed bliss. A fool's world is based on ignorance. I don't mind being foolish. At least I know life would seem much simpler. If only that can happen. If only less factors are involved. If only there were some certainty in things. If only assurance is guaranteed.

Follow my heart and not my mind.

My heart wants the happiness of others. My heart cannot bear seeing others sad. My heart wants an easy way out. My heart wants to be happy. My heart doesn't understand why something so beautiful can turn so ugly. My heart wants to rest.

Nothing is perfect.

Perfection can be built. Cut down on the expectations, ease that stubborn heart and you'll get perfection. Perfection is all in the mind. Perfection doesn't exist. What we're really looking for is contentment.

Choose.

Why must we choose? Can't we have both? Work things out. When there's a will there is always a way. I hate choosing. Someone decide for me please. My mind fails. My logic is screwed up. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.

Uncertainty.

Where's the conclusion? Will there ever be one? What is right and what is wrong? Gimme a conclusion. Tell me where I'm heading. I need to pack. I need to know. I'm blurred. I'm in the dark.

Just say the word. One word. Give me clearity. Let me see light. Drop it all on me. I can take it. I need this. I need to KNOW. Help me.

My priorities have never changed. It will never change.

"Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship."

melia signed out with love @ 6:26 PM (2) earthling(s) farted

Friday, February 11, 2005

Tis is the 3rd day of CNY and finally I get to be stuck at home. Wheee!!! All that going out and angpow collecting is pretty taxing on the human body. So I'm now in my comfy pj's, staring at the computer, blogging. Wheeee!!! Finally! Some time alone!

I guess Chinese New Year this year is a little stale for me. Don't know why but one thing doesn't change though, I'll always appreciate spending quality moments with my dear dear cousins. They are a bunch of dears, really! Oyeah, I lost 40 buckaroos on blackjack! Argh!!! Imagine 10 daggers stabbing my chest. Oh my! I'm a lousy gambler. I don't understand why people can win big while I win 10 bucks and then lose 40. It's not fair!!! Choy San!! I thought you're suppose to be on my side this year!!!!

On a lighter and happier note, all my relatives said I lost weight! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!! Happiness!!! I didn't even notice myself losing weight! I guess it must be all those inconsistent meals during me and SY's Ops Insaf: Study like hell periods. Ahahahaha. But guess what, the happiness is only short lived. I'm a hippo now. Yeaps! :( Dang those cookies and food!

Oh oh V-day is approaching!! And I have a date! With my gurls!! Ahahahahahha! Same thing every year but I always look forward to having an all gurls nite. They're great company you know. Don't you just envy me for having the bestest people on earth as V-day companions? Eheh. This year is gonna be a great year for us. Coz our bond is stronger. Re-ignited! This year I realised how important they are to me and I promised myself that I'll never take them for granted. Yeaps. That's why I'm extra mushy wushy this year. *Giggles* Wheeeee!!!

Oyeah special note to the other half of the Dynamic Duo (gosh cheesy name larr..iyerrr) thanks for being there when I need someone to talk. You helped. Seriously. Thanks for always caring. I know you do a whole lot. Thanks for being supportive and thanks for knowing ME so so well. :D Love ya!

I'm hyper today. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

melia signed out with love @ 2:49 PM (0) earthling(s) farted

Sunday, February 06, 2005

These few days I've been extremely sentimental. Probably it's because I have nothing to do at home. Just lying in bed, watching tv, snorting and stuffing tissues up my nose. Thought about alot lately. Mostly about the friendships I've made. Each and everyone is so special and unique. And they all come with their own story and memories. The best thing is....they're all mine. :)

I remember how it all started, how it all bloomed. From the very first moment we exchanged our hellos till the last friendly chatter that took place. Ahhhhh......how I love them. Life would be such a dud without them. When they came they brought with them everything - love, kindness, honesty, troubles, sadness, laughter and joy. All of them we conquered together, standing by each other. They never gave up on me and neither will I ever on them. The gift of friendship is so priceless, something we all must defend.

They mean so so much to me. I love you gurls with every beat of my heart. :D

melia signed out with love @ 9:12 PM (2) earthling(s) farted

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Somedays you just sit around and reflect on life. What have you done, how things are, what have you achieved and what have you not. While sometimes you may smile victoriously feeling glad about how well life has been treating you, sometimes you just don't get that lucky. Sometimes you wonder if all that happened was a mistake. The words spoken, the thoughts thought or even the lil gestures made. It sucks so bad to be wrong. It's the worst feeling on earth. But what's done is done and there's no turning back.

I hate myself sometimes. For always poking into people's business. For always wanting to know. Sometimes I ask myself, will I die not knowing? Why must it bother me so much? Why must I meddle with everything? What's make me think I can help when sometimes all I do is the direct opposite. Sometimes I really don't know what to do. I'm out of ideas already. I can't stand those around me feeling miserable. It makes me feels the same. So I try to help fix things, so that they'll be happy, hoping that their happiness would make me happy too. Am I being selfish? To try to gain happiness out of the happiness of others. If that's the case then I guess no harm done. But what if what I do backfires? How I wish I can shut up sometimes. Keep my mouth and my words only to myself. Save others from me. I have no others words except I'm so sorry.

I feel so lost sometimes. Like I'm the last person standing with no one by my side. When everything I do gets back at me. When all that I feel turns out to be just a bunch of lies. When the people I care about most change and turn their backs on me slamming the doors to their life in my face. I'm so afraid of that day. The day when I'll be the last one standing in my own world.

Things just can't stay the same. It's ever changing and ever moving. You may feel so close to it today and tomorrow you can no longer have it. Insecurity causes so much problems. Unnecessary thoughts, silly feelings, hurtful words and horrible images.

Sometimes you wish you can say what you want to say without thinking twice. But then that will always result in disasters. Next time I'm gonna keep my feelings to myself. Everyone will be happier that way. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

I live in an ideal world I make up my own. Nothing is ideal. Learn to live with it.

melia signed out with love @ 8:55 PM (1) earthling(s) farted

..What About Amelia?..

Because this blog needs an introduction
Here goes!

I'm 40% mature, 30% child-like
10% fashionista, 8% dork
6% klutzy, 3% dreamer
2% blur, 1% hero x)

I also want to marry John Mayer
And oh, I want a pet unicorn too x)

More self-absorbed information here!!

..Mood-o-meter..